Hi Ean, To be ‘Apostate’ means to lose your faith – but your very concern that you have is evidence that you still care – and that’s enough! Regarding Hebrews 6 and 10 these passages are written to Jews who having accepted Jesus as Saviour but are then continuing to rely on temple sacrifices (keeping the old covenant) for their salvation (and therefore rejecting salvation through faith in Christ alone). We all stumble and fall (sin), but Hebrews 10 is saying that if we consider the sacrifice of Jesus not enough to cover our sins then we are really in trouble. You say you have sinned and are reaping what you have sown. The good news of the gospel is that if we repent (see the error of our ways and change our minds about wanting to please God – determine to love him and love others) we can be forgiven and start fresh. Start where you are, confess your sins (to a priest or pastor if it helps), and get right with God – then you can live the life you were meant to live – with love, joy and thanksgiving in your heart:

““He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed (made whole).”” 1 Peter‬ ‭2‬:‭24‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Hi Ron, These are great questions for our regular live Q&A!

Yes. “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Cor 5:21

Hello Ben. I’m happy to have come across your message. Not happy for your situation, but happy about the way you described your experience. You see, I too have been going through this. Same exact everything just about. To a T. And what’s more strange where you recommitted your life to God, I was planning on doing so. Spoke to my pastor and all. But that’s when things went south for me. A few days before my recommitment day, I woke up with a great anxiety. I felt lost. I prayed and prayed and just felt God wasn’t listening. I also don’t feel like I love Him like I should. Not that I don’t want to. I very much do want to love Him. He deserves everything I have and everything I am.unlike your story however, I had someone to go to and someone to pray with me. My sister. And in a way, it’s brought her and I closer. I see her in a different light than previously. I know she was a believer before, but before this, we never once prayed together. To make a long story short as for a lack of time, I come to the realization that when darkness has its tendrils around us, and we try to break free and run back to God, it tightens its grip. It doesn’t want us to run. It doesn’t want us to go back to God. It’s going to lie and whisper in the deepest parts of our minds that there is no hope. Because if we believe we are completely hopeless and no chance of rescue, we think “what’s the point in fighting?”
We can only hear this darkness and not God at all, not because God isn’t there, but because we don’t allow ourselves to hear God. You see, God is not this big booming voice that we all somehow come to think of Him as. Sometimes and most of the time, He is the tiniest whisper. So it is with light and darkness. Darkness is the big booming, intimidating screech and howl, and light is the humble, and meek whispering voice that we must train ourselves to hear. Darkness is always more prominent as it is the desperate creature that covers in fear at God’s presence, so it must become louder and more intimidating to overcompensate for its weakness and cowardice. Read about Elijah. After being threatened with jezabells “gods” and death, Elijah ran away in terror and Hid himself on a mountaintop in shame. There he sought God. He witnessed a loud thunder and lightning storm, but God was not there. He was then witness to a great and terrible earthquake that shook the whole mountain and yet, God was not in the earthquake. Then there was a calm rustling wind and in the slight breeze, Elijah heard a small calm voice…..the voice of God. This should encourage us that the loud booming and intimidating voices in our heads isn’t Always God, nor are they nearly as intimidating and scary as they would have us believe.you see, Evil has to be as loud and boisterous as possible because God is all powerful. Evil has to overcompensate. Then God asked Elijah on the mountain top “what are you doing here, Elijah?” Always know that God has already forgiven you for your sins before the day you were even born. He knows everything and surely He knew you were going to go through this very moment. Fear not and know that He is God. The darkness knows its days are numbered.its only hope now is that it can drown and take as many of us down with it. Because that’s all it can do and even that, it can do, only if we let it. It has absolutely no power other than what you give to it freely. So ignore the menacing barking and listen for the tiny voice of the one true God who loves you more than the world. God bless you and I hope this helps. 🙂

YES! And that’s the whole point of Paul’s discourse in Romans. It amazes me that some Christians actually think that ‘being a prisoner to the law of sin’ applies to them! But Paul is saying – NO! this is our state BEFORE we put our faith in Christ – after that we are no longer slaves to sin and death but children of God who live by the Spirit. The difference is that it is not about our performance any more but about HIS – what a wonderful liberation! No condemnation! – of course, this leads people to ask, “Well then, why don’t I just go right on sinning..?” Which Paul had to explain too – I cover this in my article: THE CHALLENGE OF GRACE

Hi Ben, first of all – thanks for reaching out and for your candid message. It sounds like you are doing all the right things (reading plenty of scripture and lots of good Christian books – well, I hope they’re good!) and I am so delighted that you have recommitted your life to God and been baptised recently – that is great news. However, I am sorry to hear that you are worried about the security of your salvation. Have you been baptised in the Holy Spirit – it will help to join one of our online Spirit Lifestyle classes – I’m sure a coach could help you – you may be struggling with some unresolved issues too (not salvation threatening but certainly robbing you of your joy and peace – deliverance ministry may help you here…) we have classes and resources for this too.

Also A few thoughts on your message:

1. Matthew 7:21-23 – the point of this teaching is that spiritual power does not automatically indicate authentic relationship with Christ (it’s a warning to the Apostles not to allow wolves in sheep’s clothing to influence them) – it neither censures true Spiritual Power nor is it grounds to be worried about your own salvation (unless you are basing it on expressions of spiritual power alone – which I don’t think you are).
2. Don’t base the security of your salvation on how you feel (this is sinking sand) – base it on the rock of Christ’s finished work
3. Neither allow the devil to accuse you of being a phony Christian – we are all flawed and phony in a sense – that’s why we trust Christ and not our own qualifications

Hope that helps.